After being questioned many times on this issue I have come to re-evaluate my understanding of women in leadership in terms of New Testament teachings. I have come to believe that their is a distinction made between “local church” and “house church” in the context of the New Testament. The “local church” (e.g. the church at Antioch, at Ephesus, at Jerusalem, etc.) appears to have met in communities (networks) of “house churches”. So, it seems unlikely that the directives made in the pastoral epistles regarding church leadership were focused upon the leaders of the individual house churches. Rather these directives were meant for the greater community of churches at large in a particular city – the local church. It would appear that Paul was speaking of those who would train the leaders of the smaller groups, not the leaders of the individual groups. Therefore, I believe that there is a place for women in leadership within the house church context.
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As a mother of 10 children that has mostly served “in ministry” the last 30 years, the subject of women in leadership has been a subject very near and dear to my heart for a long time.
Having older daughters that are in ministry I also want to mention the scriptures make a distinction when it comes to the married women and the unmarried women. The unmarried are to “serve the Lord with distraction.” (1 Cor. 7:32-35) Their sphere of ministry is going to be much greater than the married women, usually with children. Many young women are frustrated when we lump them all together when the Lord sees us differently. What I’m writing below I’m gearing toward the married women with children…
When we were in the institutionalized church I felt very frustrated and forced to choose between ministry to my children and ministry to God… I deeply loved BOTH. I had also had cancer, and the Lord spared my life. I was tired of messing around and wasting my life on ministry that didn’t seem to make a lasting difference. I starting seeing my time on this earth as GOD’S time…
My husband and I have come to the conclusion that on this earth there are two kingdoms presiding here… the earthly fallen kingdom with it’s up/down structure in which woman ARE under men. (We are just visiting THIS kingdom but don’t belong to it.) Some say clergy over laity too. While Jesus says, “Not so among you.” This is the Kingdom in which we belong that is ALSO here. In 1 Cor. 11 Paul is calling them to realize these two kingdom differences are here. Paul never never threw these issues to the wind publicly and neither did Jesus. He didn’t do away with THEIR authority structure because THEY needed them. BUT, HIS people didn’t. Or, marriages that were “in Him” didn’t.
There are female apostles and deaconesses in the scripture… But wait, isn’t a deacon to be the “husband of one wife” also? Hmmm? Also, if the church is a family and not a business how does a family unit run? Think about 1 Tim 5:1. Isn’t that “mother” there an “elder” in a family setting? Why was the wife and family of an elder examined as much as the elder himself? Was it a package deal? THINK FAMILY… not earthly kingdom structure.
So, what is a married woman’s role in a nut shell?
Well, let’s face it… God did not give men breast and wombs so I guess woman were made to do most of the child rearing… generally.
Woman’s roles as nurtures to their families is meant to be God’s training ground to be nurturers to the Church of God. That is IF we take advantage of it. It’s also a great opportunity to send out dedicated welltrained diciples. Just think my 4 older children are in active life ministry for the Lord’s kingdom now. That’s a LOT farther than 1 person (me, myself) can go in a lifetime! And some saying I’m doing nothing at home??? MULTIPLYING is always good! Bring the Church home has enabled me to also readily nurture God’s children, just in bigger bodies, often having the SAME issues at the root of their squabbles- insecurities, jealousy, hated, lust, envy, etc. Their diapers just require more clean-up!
My husband and I have found we work better in the home church setting when we team up and maintain specific male/female role distinctions just like in the home family setting but on a grander scale. This is also how things are modeled in the Godhead. For example, the Holy Spirit role is to glorify the Son. My role as a nurturer of the household is EQUALLY important as my husband’s role to glean in the fields and provide for our household- just different. I “teach” at my kitchen stove constantly… I have a bar that seats 6!
Now, this is what I am NOT saying… We are NOT in a patriarchal mindset that women “have to do this” and men “have to do that.” We feel that in the beginning it was God’s original idea that they BOTH rule together as ONE-and complement each other- WHATEVER THAT MAY BE- from one couple to the next we are all made different. This is our goal. NOT the up/down structure after the fall that was needed as a result of sin. Why go back to that? If my husband feels there is something that I can do better for the best of the whole family then he is perfectly comfortable with letting me do it! Christ has RESTORED our relationship so we CAN do this. 1 Cor. 11:3 is talking about the way things are in a falling world while 1 Cor. 11:11, 2 Cor. 3:14-18 is what Christ brought things back to! We have to be careful when we read God’s word what kingdom it is talking about. Sometimes it is just making a comparison between the two kingdoms. We “ALL” again reflect the glory and image of God! (There is sooo much more that brought us to this point but it would take a book to tell you about it all…)
Now, my husband hasn’t always seen things this way… But, we do have to realize that it is a process for this ONENESS between husband and wife and men and women in a fellowship to happen… “from glory to glory.” (2 Cor. 3:18) We, as ladies cannot, and should NOT demand our rights. Jesus would not have done that either, but forgo his rights. As a woman it shouldn’t change anything for us if we are truly seeking servanthood. What it did change was my husband using me to further HIS goals, to further HIS prayers by being “heirs together”, therefore the Lord through us as a whole. (1 Peter 3:7)
DANGER: The patriarchal mindset in the home and church has the potential to disable half of the Christian community and hinder our prayers. How sad! Not only that… But when woman in the institutionalized church make the wrong choice and choose church ministry over their family’s spiritual welfare most of these later generations are not remaining with the church. Why is that? I believe it’s because these children have less time to see mom’s life lessons through home ministry. Who needs Sunday School when our children can see it lived out all week? The patriarchal mindset does not allow children to see mom and dad work together in their restored state BEFORE the fall as ONE. They often THINK they are experience this, but having been there and what we have now there is no comparison.
In our house we have a round bulls-eye target we are constantly referring to with our children and about everyone that comes into our house in order to keep and explain biblical priorities. In the center there is God, then my spouse, my children, my home fellowship family, my city wide church family, my city, my country, and my world. It’s THAT simple. We do NOT go on to the next rings until we are functioning well in the previous foundational relationships. The later relationships DEPEND on the previous ones!! In my home we are teaching both males and females in the foundations of the faith in a safe and nurturing environment to eventually walk with the fathers of the faith in life evangelism in the streets. This is what “mothers” do in the private family and therefore what “mothers” do in the church family. I am constantly birthing and nurturing at home in the foundations while the fathers and teens are going farther in there lessons and providing a new bloodline out in the fields. My role includes preparing our household to run smoothly for fellowship times and teaching the basics, having the tools readily available for meals, teaching, music, etc. We BOTH (males and females) are detrimental to the wellbeing of the other. We also visit the nursing home during the week with the children. I am having a BLAST and am making a difference for the Kingdom of God just as much as my male counterparts!
We are NOW ALL equally important before God.
I think a lot of woman out there just don’t know that BOTH nurturing their families and service to God CAN both be done effectively. Many women are frustrated and very unfulfilled. Most sense there is something “missing.” They need to know it just can’t be done in the institutionalized model! It is my dream that I can help these women since I know the path out of this darkness. I so much want them to taste the freedom of life I now have… I praise the Lord daily for his goodness and look forward to tomorrow!
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. 1 Cor. 2:9
Margaret Bullock